Enough

Some days I just want to climb to the tallest peak and scream at the top of my lungs... E-N-O-U-G-H. Enough. Enough worry. Enough pain. Enough depression. Enough bills. Enough doubt. Enough crying. Enough jealousy. Enough working 2 jobs. Enough busting my --- to get a step forward only to be brought back 2 steps. Enough unfairness. Enough fear. Enough. Enough. Enough. Seriously, enough. I'm at my breaking point today. I'm tired. I'm hurting. I'm sick of worrying. I'm sick of the bills. I'm sick of not having enough. I'm sick of being sad. I just want to be free sometimes. Free from worry. Free from fear. Free from debt.
I'm at my breaking point. I've always been told that I won't be given more than I can handle... we'll I'm reaching my what-I-can-handle-point and the breaking point is near, so please... enough.
~jen

2008-2009 Basketball Picture

Can I just tell you that looking at this picture brings tears to my eyes. My baby has grown up. :)

~jen

Cancelled and Disappointed

Cody just called a little while ago to tell me that his afternoon game against Lubbock High has been cancelled. As disappointed as I am (and he is, too) I know that it is the right decision based on our current weather conditions. I know I wouldn't want my child riding in a bus for a 2 hour trip on wet, icy, and snowy roads.

So, I'm using some of my free time this afternoon to post some pictures and videos from the boys' last basketball games. Caden made his first ever points last Saturday. He had 4. (Which by the way was half of his team's total points.... it was a low scoring game!) His team lost by 4 points.


Cody had a great game against one of the Midland teams. He had 6 points. His points were the first on the board (not that it matters). :)

These pictures/videos were taken on my digital camera and some of them are out of focus. (Maybe one day when our household recovers from it's own recession, I can upgrade my camera!)

(The video won't load at this time. I'll try again later.)

~jen

Finally!

Just thought I'd let you all know that I finally got our second Christmas tree taken down and put in the garage with all the other Christmas decorations. Yippee! Finally.

A Return to Blogging

On Friday I received a text message from my dad asking if everything was ok because he hadn't seen any recent posts to my blog. :)

I'm ok. It's just been a crazy, stressful start to the new year. In fact I'm declaring a new new year.

Everyone is doing well. (Thank goodness.) Cody has his post-op follow-up appointment this afternoon. I let him participate in his game on Saturday even though he hadn't been released from the doctor. AHS won against Midland. (Thanks Marcia for going to Cody's game.... Cody and Caden had games at the same time!)

Caden's last stomach bug was limited to the 24 hour variety and he is doing well. He started basketball this past week. Below are videos from his first game. He absolutely loves to do anything Cody does so he was so excited for basketball to start. Caden gives his all during each game and practice. He smiles the entire game. I love that about him. I know he will outgrow this stage and the competitive stage will set in; I just hope he always remembers to love the game and have fun.

Mike's doing ok. For those of you who haven't heard, his grandmother passed away January 7th. Louise was a wonderful person. The legacy that she has left behind is amazing... 23 grandchildren and 35 great-grandchildren. I am blessed to have had her as my grandmother-in-law. I know Mike was blessed to have her as his grandmother.
Things at the dealership are very slow. Terribly slow. The worst they've ever been. I'm trying to have faith that his job will remain secure. Prayers would be appreciated.
Brighter news... the Steelers' are headed for the Super Bowl! I was a nervous wreck last night with all the yelling... screaming... clapping... up and down out of the recliner... more yelling. I kept busy and only watched once I knew the win was inevitable. Thank goodness they won. :)

As for me... I'm doing ok. Just taking everything day by day and trying not worry and think too much about the future. There's so much uncertainty and worry. I'm working 2 jobs now. Last week I worked 55 hours. This week will be close to 50. Prayers for me would be appreciated, too. I know we will get through these trying times. All I have to do is look back through this blog and see what all we've already overcome.

Sorry for the delay in posts... just been busy living life. :)

~j

Another Video

I don't know what is more fun to watch... Caden playing basketball or Caden on the sideline. :)

Caden's First Basketball Game

Here's a short video of Caden's first basketball game. (This video was taken on my digital camera so it's not the best quality... but it works!)

Christmas Pictures

Seriously?

My sister-in-law, Rebecca, and my husband's cousin, Tara, have blogged about how the start of this year hasn't been all that great. I have to agree. I would think we've all been thru enough to last a while... and then all of a sudden... there's puking. Caden seems to have the start of a stomach bug. Seriously. Enough.
~jen

Doing well...

We finally got home yesterday about 1:15. Cody was asleep curled up in his comforter within minutes of getting home. He did well during the afternoon. He slept most of the day. Mike and I decided to let him go to the big game last night, only to sit in the stands and watch though. I didn't feel that he should have gone, but somehow I gave in. Tascosa ended up beating us.

Cody's gone to school this morning. I gave him the option to stay at home if he needed to, but he decided he wanted to go. He's been given strict instructions to call if it becomes too much.

What a start to the new year. One bright side is we've already met our deductible. :)

~jen

Update

We should be heading home within the next hour or so. I'll post once we are home.
~jen

Sleep Deprived

I don't know how one is to get well if you are not allowed to sleep around here! Holy moly. Between the hum of the IV (and it's not really a peaceful, lull you to sleep kind of hum) and the rarrrrr sound of the compression device that is massaging Cody's lower legs (to decrease the risk of blood clots forming in his legs while his activity level is low... which by the way, Cody's already asked me to find out how to purchase one of these machines for home... he seems to like it.)... anyways back to my thought... between those 2 machines playing some sick game of back and forth beeping and rarrring and the nursing staff coming in every 2 hours... how is one to get well if they are not allowed to sleep! But on the other hand... who needs sleep? That's the sleep deprivation talking. Never mind that.

Cody did well during the evening. We took an evening stroll last night before bed. He wasn't happy about it, but a good friend of ours threatened Cody that she'd send her husband up here to get on Cody if he didn't walk. Don't know how much bearing that had on Cody's decision to finally get up and walk as this man that was going to be on his way if Cody didn't follow orders is as gentle as a teddy bear! I think he did it to make me happy. And I was happy. He was also told by the nurses that his doctor would be asking him how much he walked, so he probably decided he'd better have a good answer for him this morning.

In between the machines beeping, nurses awakening him for IV checks and vital signs, apparently I snored a little last night (it happens when I am very tired... but Cody said it wasn't too bad and I never snored while the nurses were in here... he's probably lying about that part), and the numerous trips to the bathroom... he slept. Eventually he got to where he would sleep through the beeping machines.

His pain seems better this morning. He took his first dose of oral pain medication last night before bed and it's held him until now. (Since the nurse yesterday apparently used what looked like to be at least an 18 gauge needle... that's basically the size of a water hose... to inject into his toosh, he decided that was the last of the IM injections). He's just taken a second pain pill. I'm praying it will stay down since he refused any kind of cracker or snack to take with it.

Hopefully we will have good news from the doctor within the next few hours. I'll post an update once we know what's going on. Thanks for the emails and calls.

~jen

Cadenism

A little bathroom humor...

Earlier today the nurse in me was counting down the time that Cody had left before he was "due to void". There is a strict (well... somewhat strict) rule that a patient should void (urinate) within 6 hours of surgery or removal of a catheter. If they are unable to void then a straight cath is usually done. Well, we were approaching our due to void time earlier this afternoon and I was encouraging Cody to try and go to the bathroom.... or else. Well, this got Caden's attention. "Or else what?" (asked Caden with a mischievous grin... he's heard 'or else' before). I replied with "or else Cody will have to have a catheter put in." Of course I had to explain what a catheter was in terms that a 6 year old would understand. I basically showed him Cody's IV line and told him that a tube like the IV line would be put inside his "pee-pee" (we'll keep this G-rated) and the tee-tee would drain out. Well, of course Caden's eyes got real big and he immediately began shaking his head no and saying... "Oh, no... oh, no. Cody if I was you I'd be getting out of that bed and go pee. You don't want that to happen to you... oh no." It was hilarious.

~jen

Update

I'm back at the hospital now. I've been back for a while. Caden and I were able to go home earlier and take a nap, and I was able to take a much needed bath and change clothes. Mike and Cody were able to get in a good nap as well while we were gone.

Cody's had many visitors today. Lots of family and friends stopped by to see him. It's a good feeling to know so many care for him. It didn't take long for the word to spread throughout his friends. 3 of his basketball teammates stopped by to see him. They gave him a hard time for not wanting to play against Tascosa tomorrow night that he had to go and have surgery of all things. That got a smile from Cody. I think tomorrow's game is probably the hardest one to miss.

Cody's doing better this evening. He's still hurting some. It's under control now though. Not like before. He's taken a shot in his toosh. He didn't want to, but it was too early for pain medication by mouth. He would more than likely become nauseated and would have ended up throwing up any oral medication, so he agreed to the shot. It seems to have taken the edge off. He says he doesn't have pain like he did earlier, just muscle soreness. When you have a six pack of abs like Cody does, I would imagine those muscles would be very sore after having metal rods inserted through them.

Hopefully he will rest well tonight and the pain will stay under control. I'll post another update in the morning.

~jen

Appendectomy

Well, Cody had appendicitis and therefore no longer has his appendix. He had surgery this morning at 8:15. What was supposed to be just an hour surgery, ended up with us waiting until 10:00 to finally see the doctor. His first words were, "don't worry... we've been out for a while". My first thoughts were, where the heck have you been then? Notice I said thoughts. I kept my mouth shut.

After a rocky recovery, the trip to the surgical floor, and a very tearful, hurting Cody... we finally got some medication on board to help with his pain. He has 3 small incisions in his lower abdomen. The doctor was able to do a lap procedure rather than open Cody up. This will lessen his recovery time, which is good when your right in the middle of basketball season!

I've run home with Caden for a little break. I am amazed that I am still speaking coherently since I have now been awake for 33 hours. I need to get some things packed for Cody and I for tonight. I also need to make sure everything is ready for Caden for his first day back to school after Christmas break.

Cody will have more lab work drawn in the morning to check his white blood cell count. We are hoping to see that the numbers have decreased. If so, then he should be released. If not, then we are there another day for IV antibiotics.

I'll post an update from the hospital this evening. Thanks to all of you that have stopped by to visit. We really appreciate everything.

~jen

Appendicitis?

Here's my first chance to blog away from home....

Yesterday afternoon Cody began complaining of abdominal pain. He said it only hurt a little, so I decided to play the wait and see game. By 7:45, Cody was in tears. After a quick assessment and a Q and A with Cody, I decided it would be best to take him to the ER. We've been here since 8:40. We spent almost 4 hours in the waiting room, then another 2 hours in a room before we knew what possibly could be wrong. Cody has an elevated white blood cell count, protein in his urine (not sure if that's related to the appendix), and a CT was done. Since Cody is so skinny and has very little fat in his abdomen, the CT did not visualize his appendix. The ER doctor is confident that the appendix is our problem, though. He has called in a surgeon to come and evaluate Cody. The surgeon also seems somewhat sure that his appendix needs to be removed because he has gone ahead and scheduled Cody's surgery for this morning.

Cody is sleeping right now. He was given some IV pain medicine earlier and I think it has finally taken effect. He's been somewhat calm. He's mostly upset that he won't be playing in a big rivalry basketball game tomorrow night. He's probably already asked me 10 times if I will let him play. Mike didn't help matters by telling us that Ben Roethlisberger (Steelers' QB) was back in action within 1 week after having his appy done!

We'll get the final word from the surgeon regarding how long Cody will be out. Right now, I just want to get through today. I can't even believe that I am still functioning after being awake now for 24 hours straight! (Much less typing in somewhat complete sentences!)

Please say a prayer for Cody. Please pray that he will have a safe and successful surgery. Please pray that Cody will be able to accept his recovery time. Please pray for Mike and I. This is a first for us. Thankfully it is something simple as an appendectomy, but it's still a major event for us.

I'll post updates as the day goes on. (Thank goodness for laptops and the hospital offering wireless Internet!)

~jen

First Random Thoughts of 2009

Happy New Year 3 days late. Better late than never, right?

So here's the first (of many, I'm sure) random thoughts post. Where to begin?

Let's start with a prayer request. Mike's grandmother has been admitted to hospice care. One goes through a range of emotions when the word hospice is heard. For some it's a reminder of a loved one who has already passed; it's a little relief that the end is near and that suffering will be kept to a minimum; it's a peaceful place, quiet place where loved ones can be surrounded by family and friends as those last moments draw near. For others it is the realization of the circle of life.

Mike's grandmother has lived to be 90. Last night while watching her rest I looked at her hands. What those hands must have done in 90 years. They are wrinkled, bruised, and worn. But they are also warm, gentle, and long to be held. We all spent our time holding her hands last night. They are beautiful 90 year old hands. I am blessed to have had those hands hold both my babies, to experience the wonderful cherry jelly that those hands made, to have the crocheted items that those hands made for our home, and to have had the opportunity to hold and caress her beautiful hands. God bless you Louise. I love you as if you were my own grandmother.

To my own grandparents reading this... I love you more than you'll ever know.

I had planned to post my random thoughts, but anything else I have to blog about seems unworthy to follow this prayer request. So, I'll save those for another day.

~jen