Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Things I've Learned from Hospice Part Four

I prayed out loud with a patient last week. Never in my nursing career have I prayed with a patient. I've prayed for my patients numerous times, but I never have had the courage to ask if I could pray for them... with them. There was a definite presence... an urging... that gave me the courage to say the words, "Would it be ok if I said a prayer for you?" It was an awkward prayer filled with uncertainty that I was saying the right words. I stumbled over my words. Tears formed in my eyes. Silently saying a concurrent prayer for the right words to comfort my patient.  This patient desperately wants to die, to be reunited with family who are waiting for this patient to join them in heaven. There's such a longing to be in heaven, to spend eternity with our heavenly Father.  I prayed for death to come quickly and peacefully for this patient. This patient has asked that when they die, for me to be happy, to rejoice in their death... for they will be seeing Jesus and reuniting with family.
I've said it before... this is the hardest job I've ever done. To be honest, there are days that I don't want to do it anymore. It's too much. But then there is a moment, such as this one, where I know I am meant to be doing this job. There's a hidden blessing... courage to pray out loud for a patient.
~jen