What else?

I am afraid to even ask what else....

I had to take Cade to the doctor this afternoon. He has not been feeling well for the past couple of days, so I thought it would be best to have him checked out. Sure enough he has an ear infection, sinus infection, and an upper respiratory infection! I started him on an antibiotic this evening, so hopefully he will be feeling better within the next couple of days.

As if that wasn't enough to deal with, Cody lost my cell phone out on the golf course this afternoon. He had mine because his isn't working right now (I have no idea what's wrong, it just doesn't work). SO... I am without a cell phone until mine turns up (who knows if that will happen, because Cody's not really sure where he lost it) or we are able to purchase a new one!

And then on top of all that my car/house keys are missing. They have been missing for a day now. No one seems to know where they vanished to. Cody has a bad habit of taking them to either get something out of the car, or move the car to play basketball and then not returning my keys to my purse. A few weeks ago I found my keys outside on the window ledge of the house after he had taken them the night before to move the car! Luckily I found my keys and my car the next morning! So who knows where my keys have disappeared to. Maybe they are with my cell phone!

What a day. And what makes today even worse (as if all the above wasn't enough), is that I have been having some lower GI issues all day (I'll spare you the details). It's finally slowed down, just a lot of stomach rumbles right now. I am glad today is over with, because honestly, I need a fresh start tomorrow!

~jen

Some thoughts...

I have so much on my mind this evening. The boys are out at the park with Mike hitting some golf balls. The house is quiet. My mind just races.

For the past couple of weeks I feel as though I have been on a downward spiral. Things at work are at an all-time low. I feel so lost. On one hand I have the perfect job. My director works with my schedule so that I can attend everything that the kids have going on. I only have to work 2 days a week. I earn a very good wage.

On the other hand, I do not enjoy my job at all. It is affecting everything about me. I don't feel that I am the same person I was before. I am more tense, tired, anxious, tearful, depressed, withdrawn.... it seems to be affecting Mike and the kids and my relationship with each of them.

So where is the middle ground, what do I do? Do I continue to work where I am at now just because I can attend every football & basketball game, golf tournament, or special event? Or do I sacrifice that freedom so I can find another nursing position that I may enjoy? And what about Caden.... is it fair for him to have to go to daycare 2-3 days a week and preschool the other 2 days? I don't know what to do. Part of me is fearful of leaving the hospital, because honestly... what if the next job isn't any better?

I've applied for a position with Texas Panhandle Mental Retardation Mental Health. They have a nursing position available working in a home health type setting. The job is Mon-Fri, 8-5. No holidays, no late nights, no weekends. I think I would enjoy working there. I really enjoyed my job working with the special education kids with the Amarillo school district and I loved my mental health rotation in school. So, we'll see what happens. I was told that not many people have applied for the job when I turned in my application.

I don't know if this is the right move for me. I was talking to Mike about the pro's and con's and I think right now what worries me is working more hours, Caden has to go to daycare more, and I am not going to see much of an increase in pay (especially after paying more in daycare). But, then Mike just said... maybe you will love your job, maybe this will be the job that makes you happy.

So, here's the thing. This isn't a "feel sorry for Jennifer" post. This is more for me. This is a little decompression time. This is one of those journal-type posts where 6 months from now I can look back and hopefully see a low point that has turned around and become something better.

I pray for guidance and strength, and that I may not lose hope or sight of why I became a nurse.
~jen

Pictures of the Boys

My cousin, Taylor Howard, took these beautiful pictures of the boys for me while we were in Arkansas last month. Aren't they gorgeous! I know I am bragging... and that I am biased... but I love these beautiful pictures! (Thank you, Taylor. You did a wonderful job!)

~jen

(PS....Family, let me know which pictures you would like for me to order for you!)

2nd place finish

Here are some pictures of Cody from today's golf tournament in Pampa. He placed 2nd with a score of 79, 8 over par. He played really well the whole day. Currently, he is in 8th place within the North Texas PGA Junior Golf Foundation West Texas Boys, ages 12-13 (this does not include today's win; the standings should be updated within a week or so.). He has one last NTPGA tournament at the end of the month at La Paloma. Since this is his "home course", hopefully he will finish strong.

Next week he will play in the La Paloma Junior Club Championship. This tournament is for members only. He is really excited about this tournament. He knows this course front and backwards, and improves every time he plays.

He has a 3 day tournament coming up the first week of August at Ross Rogers for the Amarillo Junior Championship. This will be a l-o-n-g tournament for both of us! Hopefully he will finish the tournament season on a high note! As much as I have enjoyed watching him play, I have to be honest and say that I am ready for the tournament season to end! I am exhausted, and I am not even the one playing!

Cody finished basketball camp yesterday. He learned a ton, said he did about a 1000 push-ups, and overall had a good time. He received a second place ribbon for lay-ups.

Football camp starts next week! BUSY....BUSY....BUSY! :)

~jen

Summer Indulgence

I have to admit that I am a reality TV junkie. Having grown up as a true fan of the first reality TV show...Real World, "This is the true story, of seven strangers, picked to live in a house, work together,and have their lives taped, to find out what happens when people stop being polite, and start getting real. The Real World" ... I continue to love to watch any type of reality show.

So my new summer "reality" indulgence is Big Brother Season 8. Mike laughs at me every time he catches me watching it. He is not a fan of reality TV. He thinks it's all scripted!

If you watch Big Brother, here are my thoughts....
Can I just tell you all how much I dislike Jen?! I know we share the same name.... but I cannot stand her! Even as I write this I think how silly it is that I have such disdain over someone I don't even know! It is amazing how "connected" we think we are with these individuals. I don't have a favorite yet and I couldn't even guess as to who will win at the end; but boy I do love to watch the drama unfold!

~jen

Butterfly Tattoo

So the other day I am talking with my mom and she asks (in a serious tone), "did you read my post to your blog?" (see: Comment). I had already received an email of the post and knew what she was talking about. I broke out laughing trying to explain to my mom that I DID NOT HAVE A TATTOO! I think she finally believed me. I think she must have blocked out everything from #67-#100 from my 100th Post after reading that I had a butterfly tattoo! It was too funny!
I love you, Mom!

~jen

Curfews

Well, I posted something about Caden earlier, now it's Cody's turn.

Curfews. Most of us had them growing up. Mine in high school was midnight. And I remember on more than one occasion calling my dad in the middle of the night (at approx 11:58) and asking for more time. Where do we as kids learn this?

Even Cody has caught on to the curfew bargaining.

Conversation:
Me: Cody, you need to be home at 8:00.
Cody: How about 8:30?
Me: No, I said 8:00.
Cody: Why? How about 8:20?
Me: 8:00 Cody
Cody: Mom, please. Let's negotiate. 8:15?
Me: OK let's negotiate.... be home at 7:45.
Cody: I'll be home at 8:00.

I swear this kid's going to be a lawyer someday!

~jen
(By the way, it's 8:05 and Cody's just walking in the door!)

Meat head

Caden's new word at the moment is "meat head". As in "You're a Meat Head, Mommy!". He especially likes to use this phrase when he is in trouble. Lately, Caden has been regressing back to the terrible two's! It seems to be getting worse than ever lately. I am at my wits end with this little one! I thought we would be well out of the terrible 2's-3's- and 4's phase, I guess there is a new terrible-5 phase awaiting us! Oh, the joys of children! :)

~jen

Nothing new....

Nothing new to share....

The kids are both staying busy playing in the pool or playing golf.

Cody has a golf tourney in Canyon on Thursday, then basketball and football camp for the next 2 weeks. He seems to be enjoying his summer. Only 6 more weeks until school starts (yeah!).

Cade's doing well. Nothing new to report with him.

Hope everyone is finding a way to stay cool! It's been getting pretty hot up here in the panhandle!

Take care,
~jen

100th Post

This is my 100th post, and in true blogger fashion.... here are a few 100 things about me (actually, some of them are just random thoughts!)!

1. I was born in Wichita Falls, TX
2. My middle name is Michelle
3. I have lived in New Mexico, Texas, and a brief stay in Arkansas
4. My Papa nick-named me "Sunshine"
5. My Papa has a nick-name for all of his grandchildren and great-grandchildren
6. I recently got my hair cut into a short, semi-shaggy bob...which I love
7. I regret having a tubal after having Caden
8. I really wish we could have another baby
9. If I could have another baby here are my baby names: Caitlyn Grace or Carson Donald
10. My dream job... a Wedding Coordinator or owning my own flower shop
11. I would like for Mike and I to renew our wedding vows next fall...it will be 15 years next September
12. I wish I had listened to my mom and had chosen sunflowers and a fall-theme for my wedding
13. My best friend Renay was my maid of honor
14. Renay has been my closest friend since 10th grade? Renay has this awesome memory, so she probably knows the exact date that we became friends!
15. Renay and I skipped school one day our Senior year. (I hope your mom's not reading this, Renay!)
16. I also spent one day in ISS for skipping school!
17. I really miss my friends from school, I should have been better at keeping in touch
18. Once a Sandie, Always a Sandie!
19. It is hard to think that in a year, Cody will be a Sandie!
20. This is turning out to be harder that I thought! (Only 80 more to go!)
21. I wish Clean Sweep would come to my house
22. I hate cleaning my bathroom
23. Our next house will have a "girls only" bathroom... just for me
24. I really want to move into a larger house sometime soon
25. I found my dream home out at La Paloma. It's (only) in the 7 figure price range. Mike's salesmen just need to sell a few thousand cars a month and then maybe we could afford it!
26. My true dream house would be out in the country, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, basement, and a 3 car garage (Cody will start driving in 2 years, people!)
27. Also, a pool
28. We'll see if 26 and 27 come true!
29. My favorite movie: Steel Magnolias
30. I know just about every line from that movie!
31. "He so confused, he doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt!"
32. I sob every time I watch that movie
33. My favorite TV show: Grey's Anatomy
34. My favorite color: Pink
35. My favorite country song right now: Famous in a Small Town, Miranda Lambert
36. My favorite rock song right now: Home, Daughtry
37. My favorite country/rock song right now: (You Want To) Make a Memory, Bon Jovi
38. My favorite restaurant: Hoffbrau Steak House
39. My favorite dessert: Cheesecake
40. My greatest wish right now... a healthier, happier me
41. My biggest regret... becoming pregnant before marriage
42. My proudest accomplishment.. making my marriage work (which is always a work-in-progress)
43. OK, it's getting deep, so let's lighten this up!
44. My most embarrassing moment: I peed my pants in high school (I can't believe I just shared that!)
45. I have a bad habit of opening my mouth before I think.
46. My biggest pet peeve: stupid drivers
47. I have had 3 speeding tickets since 1991.
48. I have been in one car accident (not my fault), it happened in high school
49. I had 2 huge black eyes from that accident
50. My first car was a Ford Thunderbird
51. My dream car... Lexus LX SUV (starting price $67,395)
52. Over half-way done!
53. I wish I had curly hair
54. I am thinking about letting Mike buy me some golf clubs.... as long as they are pink
55. There are 171 days until Christmas
56. I already have a few Christmas gifts bought
57. I bought a gift for someone for less than 3 dollars! (Reg price $54)
58. Will you be the lucky one who receives that gift?
59. I think I get more excited about my kids opening their gifts than they do
60. I love watching everyone open their gift that I bought them. There's nothing better than knowing that the person truly loves their gift!
61. I am ready for fall
62. I am excited that Cody decided to play one more year of football and basketball before focusing on golf
63. I really love watching Cody play basketball
64. My refrigerator needs to be cleaned
65. Have I mentioned how much I hate cleaning?
66. I have a small butterfly tattoo
67. Are we done yet?
68. I would like for us to buy a boat someday
69. Even though Mike hates all bodies of water
70. I wish I was a better cook
71. I think I am a pretty good baker (cookies, cakes)
72. I want to try Super Suppers just once
73. Supper Suppers is a place where you can go and they provide all the ingredients for select meals and you just put it together in a take-out style pan and freeze it once you're home to bake later. (That was one, long run-on sentence!)
74. I never was good in English, see # 73
75. My favorite class in high school: English, Senior year
76. Only reason: Clay Stapp sat in front of me
77. My favorite teacher in high school: Coach Balke
78. I can't tell you how many times he had me place my nose on his filing cabinet drawer latch for talking in class.
79. I see Coach Balke every once in a while at Cody's golf tournaments. Hopefully he doesn't remember me!
80. I wish I had gone to my 10 year high school reunion
81. I wonder if our class will have a 15 year reunion next year
82. Renay, we have to go if there is one.
83. Renay can probably remember every single person from our class!
84. I am struggling here. How many more? Who started this stupid idea of 100 things for your 100th post?
85. Ok, 15 more... I can do this
86. A movie I secretly want to see... Michael Moore's, Sicko
87. Last movie I saw: Ocean's 13. Best of the 3. Really great movie. Entertaining the whole 2 hours.
88. 2 other reasons to see Ocean's 13.... Brad Pitt and George Clooney. Enough said.
89. Last grown up DVD we purchased: Pursuit of Happyness. A beautiful movie, one of my top 10 movies
90. My second favorite movie: Pretty Woman
91. I would like to travel to NYC one Christmas
92. # 91 will probably never happen
93. I want to see the ocean, just once (Gulf of Mexico counts, too)
94. #66 isn't true!
95. I wear Bare Minerals make-up
96. It costs way too much, but I love it
97. I wish I had Julia Robert's smile
98. When I was in high school, working at JC Penney's, 2 guys thought I looked like Tori Spelling
99. I still love watching 90210
100. Last one! I hope you all are enjoying my blog, because I have really enjoyed doing it! :)

~jen

Last Birthday Party...finally

Caden had his "big" family birthday party last night at Thompson Park. We had Subway sandwiches for dinner, followed by cupcakes for dessert. I think the kids had a good time playing on the playground. We had planned on going to Wonderland after Cade's party, but mother nature had different plans.... rain. So instead of the amusement park, we all went bowling. I think we probably had more fun bowling than we would have at Wonderland (at least the adults had more fun!). It was a great time. In fact, it's all the kids have talked about today. They are ready to go again!Birthday spankings from Uncle Russell while swinging!

Look at the mud on my shoes!

My newest favorite picture of Caden! Too sweet!

Yummy cupcakes!

I'm this many!

Let's bowl!

What form, what technique!

~jen

4th of July

We had a great 4th of July at Mike's grandmother's farm in Groom. Most of the Conrad family was there, so I spent the majority of my evening asking my sisters-in-law who everyone was! It is amazing how much the little ones in the family change from year to year! Here is a picture of Caden and his sparkler.

~jen

Article from MSN

See this article from MSN about the flooding in Coffeyville, KS.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19548088/

~jen

Belated Birthday Wish

I let yesterday slip by without wishing my Granny a Happy Birthday. Happy Late Birthday, Granny. I hope you had a wonderful day. I miss you each day. Take care.
Love,
~jen

Prayer Request

A cousin of mine, Clint Howard and his wife Sara live in Coffeyville, KS. This community is in need of prayers. Over the past few days this area has had severe flooding. As of this morning the flood levels were 10 feet above flood stage with water levels currently at 28 feet. According to my cousin's email, over 2000 residents in Coffeyville have been displaced from their homes. What makes this flooding much worse is that crude oil from area refineries is mixing with the flood water. As you can imagine this area is in need of many supplies and monetary donations. If you would like to donate, you can send a donation to:

Clint Howard, Minister
Coffeyville Church of Christ
PO Box 101 Coffeyville, KS 67337

(mark donations: Flood Relief)

Thanks,
~jen


See attached email:
Friends and Family,
Well, at least one quarter of Coffeyville is under water. Several other towns in this area have been flooded as well, including Fredonia, Neotesha, Erie, and Chanute. Over 2,000 people have been displaced from their homes in Coffeyville alone. The situation is further aggravated by oil residue from our local refinery that is mixing with the flood waters. We are currently corresponding with Disaster Relief (a church of Christ relief organization) to provide food, supplies, and recovery for the victims here in town, as well as in other communities. Disaster Relief is sending truckloads of supplies right now, although they have no way in to town right now.
We need your help, and the help of anyone you know. If you live close enough and can make it, we will need workers to help clean up. Otherwise, we need funds. Disaster Relief supplies bedding and appliances for victims that they acquire at factory cost, and are always in need of funds to make sure this work can continue. Funds can be sent to the church here in Coffeyville (address below), and we will see that they received them. Also, they recommended that we raise $10,000 to buy drywall and other supplies to help victims rebuild.
As of right now, money would seem to be more effective than any other type of support you could give. It is easily mailed or transferred, and can be used according to the needs of the people. Please make checks payable to Coffeyville Church of Christ and mark for flood relief.
We do have some members who will have a great deal of damage, and we will, of course, see that they get the help they need. However, we also have a great opportunity to touch this community in a way that they will remember. Please consider helping us in this time of need, and in this wonderful opportunity for evangelism. And, please pass this message along to your congregation, or to anyone else you think might help.

In Christ,

Clint Howard Minister,
Coffeyville Church of Christ
PO Box 101 Coffeyville, KS 67337
clint.howard@coffeyvillecofc.com
620-251-0559
cell – 870-917-7612

Stuggling with....

Today I am struggling with selfishness. Not on my part, but someone else. I am biting my tongue (in some ways, except for this post) but it is so hard to not confront the situation.

~jen