Looking up

Things are beginning to look up (on some levels). I have been such a complainer for the past few weeks. So stressed about work, the house, Mike unveiled his 10 year plan for us (I'll go into that later)... everything seemed to become this one gigantic mountain in front of me. I am realizing that I can't go around it, can't go under it... got to go over it. So with baby steps and faith that He will guide me through this things are looking up. I am seeing things more clearly, letting go of some of the uncertainties that I can't control. I think that is by far my biggest problem... control. I want to control all aspects of my life. I want to keep a tight schedule and nothing should change. Well... life changes. I can't always be in control of everything. So... I'm learning to adjust.

A special thank you to Rebecca and Toby for always listening to me on Tuesday afternoon when I pick up Caden from their house. It seems lately that I use that time to download (and munch on some fabulous home-made sweet cinnamon popcorn!). Thanks to my wonderful friends Becky and Renay who have heard me complain non-stop for the past 2 weeks. Thanks for letting me cry when I've needed to, for offering advice and support... thanks for just being great friends.

I've possibly found a job within our hospital at an urgent care clinic. I spoke with the nurse manager there and she was wonderful. She's flexible with the schedule (and with 2 sports active boys that's a plus) and will have an opening within a month. So... please say a prayer that this is the job for me. I need a more stable job and one with benefits for the kids and I. We are paying outrageous amounts for health coverage right now. I am hoping that I can still stay on teaching on a PRN basis. We will see what happens though.

House hunting has been a struggle. I met with our realtor yesterday and we looked at 6 houses. Didn't really find the "right" one. One house would have what we wanted, but a tiny back yard. One would have a huge backyard, but the house wasn't what we wanted. Ugh. I have a list of 15 houses that are within our needs and wants, so hopefully there will be 1 in there that will be perfect for us. I have decided to take our time. I want to find just the right one. We are going to be in this house for a while, so I need to really like it.

While in the midst of a emotional-mental breakdown the other night Mike decides to use that time to unveil his 10 year plan for us. My thoughts.... What? Couldn't you have picked another time? Can't you see I'm already a little stressed? For US... and this is the first I am hearing about it? But anywho... the plan was unveiled. He has a dream to own a... wait for it... a golf shop. Imagine that. My husband the golfer wanting to own a golf shop! :) He wants us to have our home paid off in 10 years. He's created the budget for it. He's talked with our accountant about it. He's done research on owning a franchised golf store. What's more... he's serious. I've thought about it for the past few days. I'm getting on board with this one. Mike never wanted to be a car salesman. He had a dream to be a coach. He would have been a wonderful coach. He probably would have been one that yells... you know how I feel about coaches who yell... :) ... but he would have been great. Well a number of his dreams and my dreams fell by the wayside with a choice that we made. That little + sign on a pregnancy test that was revealed to us almost 15 years ago changed our lives for ever. Neither one of us regrets that little + sign because that little + sign has blessed our lives more than we can measure. I've reached a few of my dreams. I was able to find a way to go to college and earn my degree. As little as it is... it means the world to me. I want one of Mike's dreams to come true.

So... I hope he doesn't get mad that I've shared his 10 year plan for us. I think it is wonderful. I think another golf store is something that would benefit this area. We'll have to see what really happens during these next 10 years. I know though... amazing things are in store for us. :)

~jen