The end of summer is here. It's been a wonderful summer. Full of golf and swimming. (I've got one of my best tans ever!) It's so amazing to wonder where time has gone. It didn't pass any more quickly than any other summer. It seems as though we just finished last school year and now it's time for another to start.
One of the moments I've been dreading for the past few years is here. Cody will begin his senior year tomorrow. I got Caden tucked into bed and stood in the hallway watching Cody load up his back pack with pens, pencils, notebooks, and a few organizational tools (we'll see how well those work out!). Tears quickly formed. I fought them back until Cody caught me watching him. He shook his head and smiled. It's so unreal to have watched our baby grow up to be a young man. Moments of time flashed before me while watching him. First smile, first word, first step... all of those firsts transitioned to moments of "lasts".
The countdown of the "lasts" will continue. His last homecoming. His last "spirit" week. His last high school golf tournament. His last prom. His graduation. (No "last" there just yet... I am determined to have a college graduation to attend!)
While there are tears this evening... it's all bittersweet. There is sadness for the passing of yesterday, but there is excitement for tomorrow. As a friend once told me, we raise our children to leave us... to be independent of us. I am excited to see that independence. I am dreading the next nine months. It will be an emotional journey. Hopefully in the end, I'll find the peace and the courage that I need... to let go.
~jen
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