Last week I read several posts on facebook from moms about their kiddos going back to school. For some, it was a day of praise and hallelujahs! For some, there was no emotion. It was just another day in the life of _____ (you can fill in the blank). For others, there might have been a few tears. I fit in that last category. I'll be honest, there was a little sadness. There were a few tears. Not sobbing... can't catch my breath... slobbering kind of crying. There were just a few tears.
I read one mom post on facebook that she must be the most unemotional mom because she didn't cry when she dropped her kids off at school. I recently read another mom post that crying steals the excitement of the moment and places the attention on the mom rather than the child.
So here's my thought. I think nothing less of the mom that was exited to see her children going back to school. Or the mom screaming hallelujah after seeing her children off to school. Or the mom that had no emotion. Or the other moms who shed a few tears. We are all on different emotional paths in watching our children grow. Just because I cried a few tears doesn't mean I don't want my children to grow up and become productive adults. My tears are not going to prevent that, either. Just because I cried doesn't make me any less of a mom. Or any better of a mom. And my crying had nothing to do with stealing any moment. If anything, my children saw my tears, and they saw my smiles, and my laughter through those tears. I hope they saw how much I loved them and how much I loved that moment of sending them off for their first day of school. For that one memory will remain with me until my last day. And just maybe they will remember that day years from now as well. (And just for the record... my tears were hidden from Caden. I did not want to send him off to school with him wondering why his mom was crying. Because at the age of 9, he may not quite understand it all. And also for the record... my 17 year old just told me that I did not steal any moment from him that first day because, after-all, he's seen a few tears and he's used to it!)
The point I'm trying to make is that we shouldn't compare ourselves to other mothers. We're all different. We all come from different backgrounds. We're all on different levels when it comes to our emotions. We're mothers of children at different ages and different "firsts". Some may be sending their babies off to their first day of day care. Some, their first day of kindergarten... third grade, middle school, high school, senior year, first day of college... whatever it may be. Each of us is going to handle these "firsts" differently. Just because a mom handles it differently than you do, it doesn't necessarily mean you're right or wrong because you handled it differently. I know my heart and my love for my children and that's all that matters. I don't have to explain my tears anymore than you have to explain your lack of tears. I don't have to explain the ache I feel in my soul watching my children grow up.... anymore than you have to explain your excitement. That's what makes us different.
So instead of pointing out the differences, why not support each other in the joy of motherhood and all that makes us different.
~jen
No comments:
Post a Comment