The Fern and the Bamboo

The Fern and the Bamboo.....

One day I decided to quit....
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality.
I wanted to quit my life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"

His answer surprised me...

"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"

"Yes", I replied.

"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo". He said.

"In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.But I would not quit. He said.

"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle." He said to me.

"Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots. I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself to others." He said.

"The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern, yet, they both make the forest beautiful."

"Your time will come," God said to me. " You will rise high!"

"How high should I rise?" I asked.

"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.

"As high as it can?" I questioned.

"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

I left the forest and brought back this story. I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.

Never regret a day in your life.
Good days give you Happiness.
Bad days give you Experiences.
Both are essential to life.

Keep going...

Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only God keeps You Going!

Have a great day!

The Son is shining!!

God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love and so small He can curl up inside your heart.

*I received this in an email from my aunt. I think I am going to print this story off and keep it in my binder that I carry at work. Hopefully I can look back on the experiences of this week and know that there is a meaning behind everything.
Thanks Luann for the email. I really appreciate it.
~jen

Re: Conversation with Caden

Caden ended up not having practice last night, it was just a meet and greet type event. Caden was so disappointed. He showed up with his new glove, bat, balls, and sunglasses ready for some action! Oh this little boy is too funny!
His first practice is Thursday evening. Unfortunately, we are leaving Thursday afternoon for my grandparent's. Caden doesn't realize that he is missing his first practice, he would just be devastated! So, his next practice is Monday evening. I can't wait to see him in action!

FYI...The little bottom shake Caden does before each golf swing also happens with each swing of the bat! It's too cute!
~jen

Horrible start.... wonderful ending

Today was one of those days where I had to literally talk myself into not quitting my job, and nursing all together for that matter. My work morning started with the realization that I had been pulled to another floor. This means that my floor didn't have enough patients for all the staff that was scheduled. So when this happens a nurse is either pulled to a floor that is under staffed or the nurse receives an LC (low census) and sent home to be on call. We'll today was my 3rd pull in less than 3 weeks. This is supposed to be on a rotating schedule between all the staff members and I knew it wasn't my turn since I was just pulled last week! Pulls are very hard for me. I have limited experience with the other floors, I am just getting down a routine and understanding of the care for my orthopedic patients, so to have to go to another floor is very scary... hard... busy... feeling lost... trying to figure out the routine of that floor... and taking care of patients with problems that I am not all that familiar with. However, I didn't fight it this morning, I just went to my assigned floor. Unfortunately I miss-read the floor number on our assignment board and went to the wrong floor. I showed up on the Renal/Family Practice floor, received an assignment, and went to get report on my patients. 15 minutes into the report I received an ugly phone call from the House Supervisor (the person in-charge of the hospital) wanting to know where I was. I was on the wrong floor. I had to tell the charge nurse of the Renal floor that I wasn't supposed to be on their floor, I was supposed to be on the Cardiac floor. She had to re-do the assignments for all of the nurses on that floor, well after they had already received their reports!

I went to the cardiac floor and between all of the events of that morning, I basically lost it. The tears just started and I could not get it together. I literally had to talk myself into not just walking out the door and never thinking twice. I ended up getting myself together, getting report from a very unhappy and very rude night nurse (because of all the confusion, she was 30 minutes late giving report and going home). My day slowly got better. Once I became familiar with the floor (to top it all off, this was my first time on the cardiology floor!) and got caught up, the day finally turned round. The nurses that I worked with on my hall were wonderful and so helpful. My educator from my floor happened to stop by to see the Cardiology educator and stopped to see how I was doing. After I explained the details of my morning, and shed a few more tears, she promised me she would look into why I was pulled again so soon. It turns out the night nurse (the one who gets the call from the house supervisor and assigns the nurse for the pull or LC) from my floor has thought that since I was part-time, I should be pulled before the full-time employees. Which is very unfair and basically just not right! Well the director of my floor was notified, and pulling the part-time employees before everyone else is not the case. I should have never been pulled today, a number of staff members should have gone well before me! The important thing is that I survived the day, it's over and behind me. I have the next 7 days off to enjoy.

Well, now to the wonderful ending. I came home from work to find that Cody (all on his own doing) completely cleaned the living room and kitchen. Not just a little picking up, he vacuumed the living room, swept the kitchen, did the dishes, put the dishes away and cleaned the counter-tops! I was so surprised. I couldn't believe what he had done. I was so proud of him, and then he said it.... "so, what do I get for doing this?". Mike just got home and took him to Academy to pick up...what else...some golf balls as a reward!

Please say a little prayer for me with this career that I have chosen. I pray and hope that I have not made a huge mistake. I know that I am a good nurse. I still have a ton to learn, and only time will allow that. I just don't know how many more "bad" days I can have before it's too much. I know there is a place for me in nursing. I just have to find what's right for me. For those that live here, if you or someone you know hear of an opening anywhere... please let me know. I am always looking to see what's available out there. I pray and I try to have a little faith that it will all work out. I am just running out of patience!

Thanks for letting me use this as a place to vent.
~jen

Conversation with Caden

Caden has his first T-ball practice this evening and is so excited! This afternoon we plan to go to Academy to pick up a glove. Caden said he also needed baseball pants and a baseball shirt. We'll see what we can find. :)

He is very concerned about winning tonight's "game". I tried to explain to him that this is just practice, not a game and that when he does have a game, it doesn't really matter who wins or loses, only that he has fun. Caden tells me (this is word-for word), "oh it matters who wins, I don't want to be the loser". I know I have Mike and Cody to thank for this attitude!

Unfortunately, I won't have any pictures to share of tonight's practice. Last weekend I dropped and broke my camera. I have been so sick over this. If I hadn't been at a public place when I realized that I ruined my camera, I probably would have broke down crying! I plan on getting a new camera in the next couple of weeks. So, no new pictures until then.

Hope everyone is doing ok. I'll post again soon.
~jen

Our car's name is....

Today Caden and I had an interesting conversation in the car on our way to lunch with a friend. (Caden has been playing his Cars X-box game quite a bit this morning. It has been lost for months, and we found it last night. So that's why these questions were on his mind!)

Caden: Do you think our car knows how to get where we're going... like Lightening McQueen does?
Me: I don't know, what do you think?
Caden: I think it does.
Silence, Caden's deep in thought.
Me: Do you think our car is a boy or a girl?
Caden: Oh it's a boy.
Me: What's our car's name?
Caden: (no pause) Jim
Me: Jim?
Caden: Yeah, Jim.

:) How I wish I could have a window to Caden's thoughts!
~jen

Golfin' with my boys

I took the boys out to the golf club yesterday afternoon to hit some balls. Mike joined us after work for a short game of 3 holes (it was getting late and cold) and dinner at the club. We had a nice time. Here are some pictures of the afternoon.
~jen

Doing better

Both of my grandparents are doing better. My grandmother was released from the hospital Saturday. They both tell me that they are feeling better. Hopefully they will continue to get well. Thanks for your prayers. (I love you, Granny and Papa.) :)
~jen

Happy Birthday, Papa

Today is my Papa's birthday. Happy Birthday, Papa. I wish I could be there with you today. I love you so very much. I hope you had a wonderful day. I will see you soon.
Love you,
"Sunshine"

Do over

Yesterday was one of those days where nothing seemed to go right. I had so much on my mind all day, tried to do too much stuff in too little time, lost my temper too many times, watched Caden trip and fall in the mud (wearing brand new clothes) as we were walking out the door to have pictures made, and was not the friendliest person to my sisters-in-law. My apologies to Sandie, Angie, Marie, Rebecca, and Karen; it was a very long day yesterday and I am sorry for not being as friendly as I could have been. How I wish I could have yesterday back to do over..... better.
~jen

Prayer request

Both of my grandparents (Granny and Papa, mom's parents) were taken to their local hospital yesterday. They have both had the stomach bug since the first of this week. My grandfather was released, however my grandmother is still in the hospital being treated for dehydration and low blood pressure. I have spoken with both of them today. My grandfather says he feels better, however our phone call ended with both of us crying. My grandmother sounded tired this evening.
It is so hard to be so far away from them. I would appreciate your prayers for them.
~jen

Caden

I took Caden to a new dermatologist this morning. Caden had some type of acidic ointment applied to his molluscums (the small bumps on the back of his thighs). It has already "burned" those that were treated. Caden tolerated the procedure very well. He only complained about an hour ago that his bumps were hurting. It was time for me to wash the ointment off and he has been fine ever since then. We will go back for weekly treatments and see how he does. Our last resort is to have the bumps cut out. His doctor said we should be finished with our treatments over the next month or 2, just in time for summer! Please remember him in your prayers as we begin this treatment phase. I am really hopeful this will take care of it all.

Here are some pictures of Caden playing golf out in our front yard. (He is using plastic baseballs as golf balls. I wouldn't let him use the real things!) I wish I knew how to upload videos to the blog. He is so cute swinging his club! He does this little bottom shake before he swings that is hilarious! Enjoy!








Here are a few of my latest Caden stories:

-One afternoon last week I realized Caden had been quiet for a fairly lengthy period of time. With Caden, this only means trouble. I found him proudly standing on Cody's bed looking out Cody's open bedroom window. Knowing he was potentially going to be in trouble he tried to explain to me that Boomer (our dog) needed some pillows. I looked out the window to find Boomer resting on all 3 of Cody's pillows. Of course it had rained earlier, so they were also covered in mud. I purchased 3 new pillows for Cody later that night.

-While at the mall ordering Cody's birthday cookie, I happened to look down and find Caden licking the glass cookie display. (A proud moment.)

-While at Renay's girls' birthday party Sunday, I looked over to see Caden sitting quietly, however he had his chewing gum strung from his mouth...over his nose...over his forehead and securely stuck on top of his head. All-the-while the gentleman sitting next to him is rolling with laughter. (Another proud moment.)

-Today at the dermatologist Caden refused to walk over to the kids section in the waiting area because he was going to have to walk past an elderly couple. He proclaimed in a voice that I am sure everyone heard.... "I don't want those people over there looking at me".

-Tonight at supper Caden protested that he needed a separate fork for each part of his meal.

-The other day Caden walked up to me with his "hillbilly" teeth (those fake, yellow, gross, plastic teeth) in his mouth asking me if it was ok for him to say bad words while wearing those teeth!

I swear I am not making this stuff up. This is every bit Caden! He is a mess!

Love ya!
~jen

Long Day....

It's been a long day. Poor Caden, he fell asleep while eating some Cheetos. We've ran errands today, enjoyed the 80-ish degree weather, watched Cody at his track meet, played outside some more, and then crashed on the couch! He is so sleepy that he is snoring right now!

Cody is still at his track meet, or hopefully on his way home. Here are a few pictures of him competing in the high jump. I'm not sure of his scores, but will post as soon as I know.

~jen





(He cleared the bar on this jump.)



8:43 PM.... Cody placed 4th with a 4' 6" jump.

Busy Weekend!!

Good morning everyone. I think I need to go back to bed this morning! We have been so busy this weekend. Friday was Cody's 13th birthday. Since it was the last weekend of the month, I knew Mike would be tied up at work so we had a quiet dinner at home. Cody opened his gifts and cards. Thanks to each of you for your gift. Cody will enjoy spending his money! Mike and I got him some new golf clubs.

Saturday, Caden and I were invited to an Easter egg hunt at the Discovery Center with Rebecca, Aaron, and Sadie (my sister-in-law, nephew, and niece). We had a great time. Here are a few pictures of the event.

Cody spent the majority of his Saturday out on the golf course trying out his new clubs!

Sunday was just as busy. We woke up to find that our house had been toilet-papered. After being on the receiving end of the toilet-paper experience, I now feel like I should send out an apology letter to every parent of every friend who I toilet-papered in my younger years! What a mess that is to clean up! I made Cody do the majority of it. He didn't think that was fair, but I just told him he was the one who got toilet-papered, not me or his dad! He responded with well, it's your house, you should clean it up! I will spend a good portion of my morning finishing up. I walked outside this morning to take Cody to school and toilet paper is strewn all over the front yard! I am sure my neighbors are really pleased with us!

My wonderful friend Renay's girls celebrated their very first birthday yesterday! The party was so sweet and cute in it's Tinkerbell theme. Here is a picture of Maggie and Marlee opening their presents. Maggie and Marlee, you are too cute! Caden and I enjoyed your party! Your mommy did a wonderful job! :)

Next it was Cody's birthday party! We took him and 5.... yes FIVE.... teenage friends to the movies and then to dinner at Hummer's. I think they all had a great time. Here are some pictures of Cody's party.

Well, I guess that is all. As much as I would like to go back to bed, there isn't time. Today is going to be a busy day too. Cody has a track meet this afternoon. He is participating in the high jump. I have a grocery list a mile long and my house is needing some attention! I hope you all had a great weekend! Love you.

~jen

Article In The Groom News

This article appeared in The Groom News courtesy of Marcia.

Thanks Marcia, it brought tears to my eyes.

~jen

Reflections

I woke up this morning at 2:00. (Mike has developed a serious snoring problem!) I laid in bed thinking back over the past 13 years. My baby turned 13 at 2:08 this morning. (Why are there tears streaming down my face right now? Why is this birthday so much harder than the ones before?) As I watched the clock tick by, I remembered the night that I had Cody. It seems like it was yesterday. I remember I was resting on our sofa and I had just finished watching 'Not Without My Daughter'. Mike had just walked in the door from work. It was about a little after 10 at night. I remember feeling this trickle run down my thighs and thinking to myself, "either I am peeing all over myself, or.... my water just broke!". Well, it turned out my water broke, because it soon gushed once I stood up to go to the bathroom! We were packed and ready because we had already made a trip to the hospital a few days earlier, only to be sent home because someone didn't know the difference between false labor and real labor! Mike was quickly gathering everything up that we would need. We had just bought our first truck earlier that month. Poor Mike, I know he meant well, but he covered the seat of that truck with every towel we owned! He loved that truck! We rushed to the hospital as quickly and safely as we could and were soon checked into our room. Mike called our parents and I remember him telling my mom word-for-word what the doctor had said...."She has grossly ruptured her membranes, we're having a baby". I never really started regular contractions once I was at the hospital, so I received a Pitocin drip and about an hour after that, an epidural. I was very lucky in that I only went through maybe 3-4 hard contractions on my own. After a couple more hours, Cody Michael Conrad arrived. Our world has never been the same.

I cannot believe how quickly these past 13 years have come and gone. I cannot believe that Cody is a teenager. I remember he was such a perfect baby. He was always happy. Always content. He loved to be held and rocked. He was my cuddler. His smile lit up the room. (Ok, the tears are really coming, I am going to have to stop and get it together!) As a toddler, he was so curious and had a hundred questions. He was so smart and so bright. Before I knew it he was in Kindergarten. We lived in Groom then. I am so happy that he was able to start his education there. He loved going to the same school his daddy went to! He thought that was pretty neat! The years continued to pass and then he started school at the same elementary I went to! He excelled in everything he did. We soon saw him develop with sports. Over the years we've watched him in flag-football to tackle football. Basketball to golf. He is becoming quite the athlete these days.

Cody is still all these things and much more (well, he isn't quite as content, and he is definitely not a cuddler anymore!). I am so proud of this young man that is growing up before me. I need to remind him of that more often. I know that these difficult teenage moments we have will soon pass. Hopefully, we will both grow from them and become closer than we were when we started.

For those of you that have young children, hold onto your babies as long as you can, because they don't stay little forever! Cherish each day, because once it's gone, you can't have it back. (Boy, Caden is going to get some extra big-and-long hugs this morning! He's still my little baby and thankfully he still likes his mommy's hugs!) :)

Thank you to each of you for your part in Cody's life over these past 13 years. We are so blessed to have such an extended family. I am so thankful for the relationship that Cody has with each of you.

~jen

Whew... rough past few days

It's been a while since my last post. I hope all is well with each of you. We are doing ok. I had to take Cody to the ER this past Tuesday evening after he fell while on our trampoline. I was probably overly-concerned because he had fractured this same wrist when he was 5. He was in tears (although he denies there were tears!) and couldn't move his wrist or hand. Long story short.... he only sprained his wrist, no broken bones. Thank goodness. He has been quite the unpleasant patient these past few days though. His coaches are giving him a hard time since he isn't allowed to participate in athletics until next Monday. He has basically refused to wear the splint that was ordered. He is very much the independent teen-ager these days. Over all he has most of his range-of-motion back and only complains of slight soreness. I pray that he doesn't re-injure it anytime soon.

Caden is finally getting over his strep-throat. He is feeling much better these days. His infected sore on his leg looks better. We are going to see a dermatologist the first week of April.

No other news to report. I still haven't heard anything about the RN position within the school district. Part of me thinks it's ok. Working 2 days a week at the hospital really isn't all that bad. I had a really good day at work today. It's days like today that make me realize that my job really isn't all that bad. I don't know what will happen over the next few days and weeks. I've decided not to hold my breath on getting this new job. Maybe I am meant to stay where I am at. Maybe there is something better that will come along. Maybe, maybe, maybe. :)

Take care everyone! Have a great weekend.

~jen

Surgery went well

My grandmother's surgery went very well and she is at home resting. I called and talked to her a little while ago and she is doing ok.
~jen

Waiting game...

My grandmother is in surgery this morning having some discs in her neck repaired. It is so hard to not be there. I am trying to keep busy this morning. Trying to quit watching the clock and wondering...worrying. I know she will be fine. It is just so hard to be so many miles away.

Lord watch over Granny this morning. Be with the surgeon. In your name I pray. Amen.

~jen

Another win...

Mike just called me to let me know that Cody placed 3rd at the golf tournament today in Lubbock. He shot an 84, which is awesome because this was Cody's very first time playing at this course! From what I heard from Mike, this is a very tough course with lots of bunkers and lots of breaks on the greens. It is after all a "college course". I am sure the Texas Tech fans loved Cody's Texas Longhorns bag!

I can't tell you all how proud I am of my little golfer! Watch out, Tiger Woods!

I might even have to take up the sport myself. Mike and the boys enjoy it so much, it might be something fun to do as a family! I can just see myself out there with my pink clubs and pink golf balls! Can't you? Ha-Ha! :)
~jen

3rd Time's a Charm?

Caden and I made a return visit to the doctor today. For the past couple of days he has had severe abdominal cramping from the antibiotic he is on. I called our pharmacist yesterday and the cramping is a side effect. He absolutely refused to take his medicine this morning, even after much pleading, bribing, and even threats. Nothing worked. So I called our nurse practitioner and we returned to the office.

Caden received an injection of Rocephin (antibiotic) and we picked up another prescription for a different antibiotic (our 3rd one). It took 3 nurses to hold Caden down for his shot. I would imagine that if there was a prize for worst mother of the year, Caden would have nominated me! On the way to the doctor all I heard was "your a meat-head (his newest word) mommy"! He was not happy with me once he found out he was getting a shot.

Hopefully the combination of the injection and the new antibiotic will get this little boy well.
~jen