Today was one of those days where I had to literally talk myself into not quitting my job, and nursing all together for that matter. My work morning started with the realization that I had been pulled to another floor. This means that my floor didn't have enough patients for all the staff that was scheduled. So when this happens a nurse is either pulled to a floor that is under staffed or the nurse receives an LC (low census) and sent home to be on call. We'll today was my 3rd pull in less than 3 weeks. This is supposed to be on a rotating schedule between all the staff members and I knew it wasn't my turn since I was just pulled last week! Pulls are very hard for me. I have limited experience with the other floors, I am just getting down a routine and understanding of the care for my orthopedic patients, so to have to go to another floor is very scary... hard... busy... feeling lost... trying to figure out the routine of that floor... and taking care of patients with problems that I am not all that familiar with. However, I didn't fight it this morning, I just went to my assigned floor. Unfortunately I miss-read the floor number on our assignment board and went to the wrong floor. I showed up on the Renal/Family Practice floor, received an assignment, and went to get report on my patients. 15 minutes into the report I received an ugly phone call from the House Supervisor (the person in-charge of the hospital) wanting to know where I was. I was on the wrong floor. I had to tell the charge nurse of the Renal floor that I wasn't supposed to be on their floor, I was supposed to be on the Cardiac floor. She had to re-do the assignments for all of the nurses on that floor, well after they had already received their reports!
I went to the cardiac floor and between all of the events of that morning, I basically lost it. The tears just started and I could not get it together. I literally had to talk myself into not just walking out the door and never thinking twice. I ended up getting myself together, getting report from a very unhappy and very rude night nurse (because of all the confusion, she was 30 minutes late giving report and going home). My day slowly got better. Once I became familiar with the floor (to top it all off, this was my first time on the cardiology floor!) and got caught up, the day finally turned round. The nurses that I worked with on my hall were wonderful and so helpful. My educator from my floor happened to stop by to see the Cardiology educator and stopped to see how I was doing. After I explained the details of my morning, and shed a few more tears, she promised me she would look into why I was pulled again so soon. It turns out the night nurse (the one who gets the call from the house supervisor and assigns the nurse for the pull or LC) from my floor has thought that since I was part-time, I should be pulled before the full-time employees. Which is very unfair and basically just not right! Well the director of my floor was notified, and pulling the part-time employees before everyone else is not the case. I should have never been pulled today, a number of staff members should have gone well before me! The important thing is that I survived the day, it's over and behind me. I have the next 7 days off to enjoy.
Well, now to the wonderful ending. I came home from work to find that Cody (all on his own doing) completely cleaned the living room and kitchen. Not just a little picking up, he vacuumed the living room, swept the kitchen, did the dishes, put the dishes away and cleaned the counter-tops! I was so surprised. I couldn't believe what he had done. I was so proud of him, and then he said it.... "so, what do I get for doing this?". Mike just got home and took him to Academy to pick up...what else...some golf balls as a reward!
Please say a little prayer for me with this career that I have chosen. I pray and hope that I have not made a huge mistake. I know that I am a good nurse. I still have a ton to learn, and only time will allow that. I just don't know how many more "bad" days I can have before it's too much. I know there is a place for me in nursing. I just have to find what's right for me. For those that live here, if you or someone you know hear of an opening anywhere... please let me know. I am always looking to see what's available out there. I pray and I try to have a little faith that it will all work out. I am just running out of patience!
Thanks for letting me use this as a place to vent.
~jen
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