My Shining Star

There is a line from one of my favorite movies, Hope Floats, that describes how I feel at this moment. It's when Mrs. Calvert is holding Bernice. Bernice says something like, "I love you" and Mrs. Calvert says, "My cup runneth over.". That's how I feel today. My cup today is full of pride, happiness, excitement, and a little sadness. My cup runneth over. So much so that I could probably break down in tears just trying to sort through the range of emotions that I feel.

Today, Cody placed 3rd in the Lake Steel Junior City Championship. He has played 5 rounds of golf against 16 other boys in his age group (14-15) for the past 2 days. Today was the final round. He has played at his very best this week, shooting a 74, his lowest score ever. I was excited that Mike, Caden, and I were all there to cheer him on today during the final round.

After his tournament, we had Freshman registration at the high school. Overwhelming does not even come close to describing that experience. One of my favorite teachers was greeting everyone as they made their way from the breeze-way to the commons area. Once he got to Cody and I, he looked at me with that "I know you" look. It was a funny moment. He is now one of the assistant principals at the school.

Cody is officially a Sandie now. He has been registered, he has his class schedule, he walked the halls and found all of his classes, and he found his locker.

It was a surreal moment walking those halls together... I had to bite my lip so many times because all I wanted to do was let the tears flow, grab him and hold him so tightly, not wanting to let go of my baby. I have this dull ache from deep down inside of me. I can't explain it. It's 10 times worse than when he started Kindergarten. It's this "he's slipping away" feeling. I don't know how else to explain it.

On one hand I am ecstatic and excited for him. We had a few minutes between registration and his Fish Camp, so we went and got a coke together. I told him how excited I was for him and how these next 4 years will be some of the best years of his life. I told him to cherish each moment, to have a blast, to be safe, to do his very best at everything, to be the young man that we've raised him to be, and to always follow his heart. What was amazing is that he listened. He didn't say his quick response of "I know, Mom" whenever we are having a serious conversation. He listened. He said, "this is the best time of my life".

On the other hand, my heart is breaking. I know he is growing up. He doesn't need me or his dad as much as he did before. He's making his own path in his life. High school is just the beginning.

I can't wait to experience this next adventure with him. I know it's going to be crazy, exciting, fun-filled, amazing, overwhelming, and probably emotional!

Oh, how my cup runneth over...

~jen