The morning after...

Yesterday my husband quit his job. After 13 1/2 years, he's done. Tired. Fed up. Frustrated. Unable to make it better. Unhappy. Tired of the day to day. Unappreciated. Overworked. Taking a leap of faith.

We've talked about this over the last couple of days so it wasn't a complete surprise to me. It still didn't make yesterday morning any easier for me. Or I'm sure for him, either.

I've gone through several emotions over the last 36 hours. From anger to fear to hurt to sadness. I'm sad to see Michael leave. I know he loves what he does. He is very good at what he does. Car salesmen have a bad reputation in general. But not my husband. He is a good manager and salesman who takes good care of his customers. That's why over the last 13 1/2 years he has had the same customers coming back to him year after year.

I'm angry that it has come down to this. I'm angry that this was something that couldn't be fixed. I'm angry Michael missed family vacations, basketball games, and golf tournaments because he was needed at work. Because if he wasn't there, cars didn't get sold, orders didn't get placed, paperwork didn't get done... the list goes on and on.

I'm scared for the future. After 13 1/2 years there was familiarity and a sense of security. I don't know the plan and that's very scary. We are a 2 income family. We have to have 2 incomes. Preferably 2 good incomes. Michael has a couple of scenarios in the works, but nothing has been finalized. I doubt that he will have any problems finding another job. His phone rang non-stop yesterday with friends and past co-workers calling offering him best wishes and to use their names for references.

I guess this is where that leap of faith comes in. Please say a prayer for Michael. Please pray that he will find the right job. One that makes him happy. One that will provide financial stability for our family. Please pray for me that I will also have faith. One of my biggest weaknesses and spiritual downfalls is a lack of complete faith. I seem to let worry and despair take control during times like these. All of those "what-if's" come into play. The only "what-if" question I should be asking is "what if I just gave it all to God?".

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and mind in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

I have this scripture in a notes folder in my cellphone. I read it at least daily. More if it's a difficult day. Anything, everything, thanksgiving, understanding. Words for me to live by over the next few days.... few months... few years... until the end.

Thank you for your prayers.
~jen